Every playoff series loss in the NBA is a wound. And now I’ve come to add some salt to it.
DISCLAIMER ABOUT SPORTS HATE: The content that follows is the product of a massive accumulation of “sports hate” suddenly exiting my body. It will sound harsh, unyielding, and perhaps even a little unfair. Though I haven’t met any of the Heat players, coaches, or supporters, “sports hate” differs from real hate in that I have no issues at all with any of them. This is an example of how we can express our intense feelings via sports without actually hurting each other. Bam Adebayo is undoubtedly a really kind man.
The conflict is ended! The Miami Heat are out of the game! It’s the Boston Celtics’ victory! They’ve succeeded.
The Heat were so severely defeated by the Celtics that they will now be referred to as the “Miami Lukewarm,” as their efforts in Games 3 through 5 were hardly scorching. However, they did emit a lot of smoke during the process, possibly in an attempt to bring the stew’s flavor back to normal by heating it up.
Was that too severe? That was harsh, but I’m giving myself three days to enjoy the Lukewa’s demise. I refer to the Heat caused by the forward-marchi
We have the entire weekend to complete the entire “job’s not finished” routine. This is not my team! I don’t need to maintain composure or concentrate on the work at hand; I can just act carelessly and celebrate like a 37-year-old mother of two attending her younger sister’s baby shower. Overindulgence in rose wine? Maybe, but who knows how many more chances like this will present themselves.
“We’ll take five even though we would have preferred four.”
That’s Jaylen Brown following Wednesday night’s victory, demonstrating once more how few people are as sympathetic to Celtics supporters as he is.
To be honest, I wish there had been three. Two in the even. In fact, let’s simply destroy them in Game 1 the next time around so badly that if a team wins any game by more than 180 points, the NBA is compelled to implement a playoff series mercy rule!
(Inhales deeply several times.)
The Celtics were always going to have to do this the hard way, even though I wish they had just forfeited after the Play-In Tournament, citing moral objections to playing against someone as kind as Derrick White. I was just so sick of these idiots. Demons had to be exorcised with extraordinary prejudice after the Heat embarrassed them in the previous season.
The fact that the Heat were in a three-wheeled 1997 Toyota Camry and the Celtics were in a Ferrari didn’t matter if this was a drag race. Without brakes, it had to be all gas.
